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For a long time my only bike was my Grasshopper with a Rohloff. Then I got a Silvio. The most annoying thing was going back to Disraeli gears. Then I got Sram XX1. I found that, free from the double chainwheel, I hardly missed the IHG. The double chainwheel is the worst thing about Disraeli...

Some type of bracket. That was the last thing I did to my Silvio.

Wretched abominable contraption. My language was a lot worse than that. In the street. At the top of my voice. But when they stole it I had to get a new one. You are progressing fast. Already you do not hate it.

Love the bracket. And the LVOTK. You are both almost there. Almost fence wire.

This is how I can get the clamp away from my sternum without the bar ends going out of reach. Crononero with the straight middle section.

Someone should get an award for the cables. Bike looks amazing. Only thing that could improve it is mudguards tied on with fence wire.

I suspect that you have the normal handlebar configuration that most people have. So your hands are a long way in front of the clamp, which means that you have to have the clamp a long way back. So it sticks in your sternum. It is like the thing that holds you in your seat on a rollercoaster...

That is why I am so slow. 650b wheels and Gravel King. Actually it is the innertubes that are hard to find. The only ones that fit are made by Specialized.

Someone on a DF bike crashed.

I typed it wrong. I meant "How can anybody manage with downward-pointing ends?"

Wax the chain. The first time you do it is a nuisance because you have to degrease the drivetrain. Thereafter it is no trouble. And no black gunge everywhere.

After a lot of miles with 1x11 and 1x12 I realised that the only really annoying thing was the double chainwheels. XX1 was the best thing to happen to Disraeli gears in a century. Make a bar-end friction-shifter.

This whole story is doing my brain in. 4300 miles? That is bad enough on its own. A long journey for me is 43 miles. And you had to replace the wheel. And the caliper. Not the whole thing, just the caliper, which means you had to bleed it. I could write a book about my traumatic attempts...

Two heads and pushrod and extra frame to hold it. Nice to have all that extra weight. Probably feels like an unsuspended Grasshopper. Seat-pushing and not bar-pulling. On a Cruzbike I think the legs bend sideways at the hips. If the pivot-point is so far forward, will there be sideways knee...

What size wheels and tyres? What is your lowest gear ratio? Silly questions, because it is too late to change them now. Your front mudguards is too short. Your drivetrain is going to be lubricated by mud and gouged by gravel. Too late to change that now. Your bar-ends are clear of your...

That thing has negative caster angle. I cannot remember what the effect of that is supposed to be. There appears to be a huge tiller effect. This may be a daft question, but why the triangular structure above the front wheel? Is it just a place to hang a frame-pack?

My S40 has 420 Crononero with the ends sticking up. Not very aero, but for me, aero just means breathing. Downward-pointing ends catch my thighs. How can anybody manage with upward-pointing ends?

There is a lot of tinkering to do. You may eventually decide you do not like the handlebars, after turning them round and back and upside down and back. Get new bars. Then try to find compatible brake levers. Get a rack. Get short cranks. That fit the chainwheel. Get a 12sp cog and a...

We are like unto penguins or seals. Have you ever seen the nature programmes about Antarctica on telly, where the aforementioned animals swim under the ice? Graceful, agile, and they look like they really enjoy it. Me on my S40. Look at them when they are out of the water, flopping about...

It will feel very strange... You are going to feel like an idiot. And look like one. For miles. It takes miles to learn to ride it. Then to adjust it, which is a whole new process. Be prepared to think that this is all bullshit, and the bike is a heap of crap. Stick with it. Eventually...