I know what you're going through. I was hit by a car twice, both internationally (Australia and Thailand). The second time was far more serious (2 days in an ICU, 8 days recovery before I was able to fly home). My wife wasn't with me either time and believe me, it was much worse for her not being there.
The more recent collision caused further damage to my back (I had back surgery in 2020, the collision was in 2024) which basically ended my days of riding a conventional bike, that's part of the reason why I'm here.
I'm fortunate that I live in a rural area and am able to ride on relatively quiet roads. Nevertheless, it took a while before I was able to ride again. I tend not to dwell on the past but I still think about it from time to time while riding.
TBH, once I started riding again I can't say anything changed. I'm as careful as I ever was, don't have panic attacks when a car is coming, etc. I put the collision(s) down to one of those things that happen. I don't mean to be overly flip about it but I believe strongly that a prudent person does what they need to do to mitigate risk to a level that's acceptable to them and then gets on with their life and that's what I've done.
Good luck!