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My Claud Butler seemed very stiff but it did shimmy sometimes. I used to fly round corners.

Before I got the workstand, if I removed the Grasshopper's back wheel it used to take nearly an hour to get it on again. Fatal combination of problems. Rohloff, disk brakes and the Grasshopper will not stand upside down. That is why I got the stand. So I decided not to get a flat in the...

There is a road that goes downhill where I can do 40mph, but then I have to get up the other side. The really annoying thing is the tight bend at the lowest point. I still do not trust myself to get round without drifting into the oncoming traffic so I have to brake and lose a load of momentum...

Everyone in Florida needs to know the Crabs are on e. There is someone with knackered lungs who keeps saying to himself "At least I can still overtake the Crabs". That guy is just going to sit down and give up.

Embarrassing: When I got my XX1 derailleur it would not work properly. I spent ages pissing about with it. Eventually I realised that the set-screw was screwed in as far as it could go and it was still not long enough. I found a longer one that fit the hole. Derailleur worked for a while...

If you ride a bent in the Sunday ride they complain about drafting. Imagine how they would react to a propeller.

I always drink the beer before crushing the can.

I wonder which is going to go first, Grasshopper or Silvio. Grasshopper had been cushioned by suspension but it is getting more stress now because of the Tannus tyres. It does clatter and shake now. I hope they both outlast me. I hope neither shatter under me while I am going downhill round...

My Grasshopper has Meks carbon forks. That must have been a pretty new idea when I got it.

It is such a nice feeling being passed by some twit on a Trek. It makes me so happy! The good news is that I can still overtake the Dutch bikes and the folders and the old woman on the trike with the crate over the back wheels. I am not getting an e. At least, not until she overtakes me.

My Claud Butler was made before the company was sold. It had all the identifying features. Double-butted Reynolds 531. I lost it to thieves. I hope it broke.

Balor is a genius! Before I go on Zwift I am getting a magnet on every spoke. Nyaaaahahahahaha!

I thought Strava tracked you by the GPS.

That wheel does not look very antique.

So the only reason to use Strava is to keep a record of yourself for yourself, and forget KOM. A bloke told me he had disabled the limiter on his e and it developed power at 40mph. At leas in Zwift there is no way to use e.

Must be older than my Grasshopper, which is an early one that does not fold.

Cruzbike is for those for whom the Grasshopper is insufficiently perverse.

I have a habit of misplacing my irony. It will get me in trouble one of these days. Actually I was not just referring to Balor. Balor is just one of the people who's tools and expertise are a lot less limited than mine are. The best I could do were heel-clips and my bar-end friction-shifter...

Telescopic boom. Complicated enough for you? Heavy enough?

I meant that if you stiffen your arms and legs you can hold the steering in one position.